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How often do you see history being made? Now an amazing drama of immense importance for the world’s strongest nation unfolds around a single word. And since the country in question is the United States of America, what’s not amazing is that lawyers fill center stage.

The word at issue is “recall”. When it’s served up 70 times by the same person in one meeting, the mystery is why.

This battle of the lawyers, by the lawyers and for the lawyers takes place in the Senate Office Building. Gathered on one side, senators who lead the judiciary committee, with degrees from Georgetown University’s, Harvard’s, and Yale’s law schools, ask the questions.

On the other side the US’s highest ranking lawyer, the justice department’s Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, takes his position backed by a degree from Harvard Law School, and (in words, at least) by his boss, the president who hired him.

The two sides have squared off over Attorney General Gonzales’s firing of eight other lawyers, federal prosecutors who served in districts around the country. None of their law degrees comes from Georgetown, Harvard or Yale.

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As the senators prepared to put some hard questions about these dismissals to the attorney general, one of them said, “I hope and expect we’ll be treated to a minimum of ‘I don’t recall.’” Alas, he got much more than that. At the end of the day the same senator told Attorney General Gonzales, “You’ve answered ‘I don’t know’ or ‘I can’t recall’ to close to a hundred questions.”

Leaving politics and wrongdoing aside, which of course is a hard thing to do in Washington, the root of the problem should be clear to everyone: the attorney general was possibly defrauded by Harvard.

Given that a lawyering JD degree there will cost you about $60,000 a year, over 3 years, you’d expect to come out with a better command of lawyer English. He said “can’t recall” or “don’t recall” about 60 times the day of his testimony. (You can see and hear it on the video page. But brace yourself: these are all lawyer politicians before the cameras.)

Imagine how cheated he must feel. Just when a law degree is most important in your career- not over some trivial mundane issue like deciding a murder case, or how long to keep someone in jail without a trial - your education lets you down. Imagine if you spent the whole day stammering “I don’t recall”, like some kid in front of a broken window questioned by his parents, just rolling his eyes and looking at the ceiling saying, “I forget”, while nothing clever comes to mind.

Here are some examples from his testimony: “I don’t recall the specific mention of this conversation”; “Senator, that I don’t recall remembering. I don’t recall the reason why I that accept the decision”; “I don’t recall the conversation. I don’t recall whether or not I was present. I suspect I probably was, but I don’t recall.”

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That’s not the level we expect from Harvard. We want to gaze at its ivy shrouded halls and imagine with awe a depth of the learning going on inside. We don’t want the fantasy broken by hearing “I don’t recall” parroted over and over again by one of its alumni. A “Gonzales v. Harvard” lawsuit may be in order. At least a hefty refund should be in the works.

In the meantime, EnglishMojo wants to help. First, this writer confesses that besides overseeing the production of search-and-seizure training, his sole legal experience was being called twice for jury duty, and serving as jury foreman. So there’s no legal advice here, but here’s our shot at fixing the English.

Let’s look squarely at the problem. We can guess that Attorney General Gonzales chose “I don’t recall” because it has the virtue of being less clear and more adult-sounding than “I forget” or “I’m not going to tell you”. It’s also less guilty-sounding than claiming the constitutional 5th Amendment protection against self-incrimination. “Recall” can be intentional, or out of your control. So if you’re caught out later withholding information, you could argue you haven’t technically lied.

But let’s consider some alternatives neglected by the Harvard law school education. How about: “it slipped my mind”? Or I’m “drawing a blank”? Maybe I “lost sight of that”, “took no note of it”, or “that’s fallen into oblivion”. Possibly, “my hard drive crashed”. (Millions of emails have disappeared in this case). Or just “I’ve gone blotto”?

EnglishMojo listeners and readers are a thoughtful and sophisticated group. Quick! Send in your suggestions for an alternative to “I don’t recall” to englishmojo@gmail.com. If yours fits, we’ll put it on the web site. Maybe we’ll all be in time to save the attorney general.

If his memory actually does fail so often, we’ve gathered useful advice.

From Confucius: “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.” From Rachel Carson: “For the sense of smell, almost more than any other, has the power to recall memories and it is a pity that you use it so little.”

Maybe the chief legal officer already has his philosophy thought out.

It might fit Laurence J. Peter’s: “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” Or Sholem Asch’s: “Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence.”

In any case, he’s going to need to tighten up his act. The drama didn’t end at the Senate Office Building that afternoon. The senators sent a letter to him saying, How about sending us those details you failed to recall during your testimony? Say, within a week?

It’s a fair guess they’re not looking for a repeat performance.

So send your suggestions in right away to englishmojo.com, and change history.

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